Don't ask why.

I'm tired. Too many people. Too much effort to entertain them. I can't be quiet - I have to attempt to entertain - and this tires me out. There are too many people to analyse, to adapt my tone towards, to feel their ulterior motives and figure out their little, swift, fleeting changes in attitude and thought. It tires me out. There's nowhere to be alone and just relax without people. Human beings are everywhere and always. There's never a rest, not even a small one. Not when you live with them, study with them, train with them and see them on the streets. Only to go home to them. And then they're there electronically, showing or not showing their intentions and emotions.

All this needs to be processed, understood, and conclusions must be drawn on how to react.

People have created or modified everything that I come across and compulsive determining of their characteristics and character makes me exhausted.

No-one does the same for me.

...

This helped me, I needed it. I don't want you to know. I can't force what you need, even though I want to so much, I'm completely torn and disappointed in myself. It feels bad that I can't react the proper way.
You're one of the two people that have seen me like that. And it didn't feel awkward at all.

...

And you, you've changed. You're patronising in a way you believe is subtle, but I realise and feel it all too well. Keeping up appearances is making me fray at the edges.
When I was in your situation, this is not how I acted. You're going.