Frightening

Every single little creak and movement frightens me and I think I'm going to be surprised in some awful way.

Anyway, today's interesting (?) thought comes from Anna prophesising how I will feel when I actually "like like" a person for real, and become heartbroken. We were talking about me getting tired of boys in 24-48 hours, because that's how long it seems to take until I get the confirmation I need. So, Anna says something like "What happens when you like someone not for the sake of confirmation?", and that got me thinking. I can't like someone if I don't want confirmation. Can anyone? If I start liking someone I do it because I feel that their affection/confirmation is good, is what I need and want. Why else would you like anyone? It doesn't make sense. Anna was making a huge point out of the fact that it will happen sometime, and then I will be heartbroken for real, or something to that effect.
I can't see it happening. But on the other hand, we don't have the ability to see emotions that we haven't experienced before approaching.

Oh well. In any case, it's interesting at the moment how I completely excluded the possibility of that, and the symptoms of it are creeping up on me from all sides but I kind of don't want to realise it, still. I think it happened because you started giving me some confirmation, and now I want more, because I do, after all, like you. This is interesting.

Going to see the Perfume movie on Friday, and then we're going out. I'm more looking forward to the movie =)

6 comments:

Anna said...

You want confirmation, but you don't do it FOR THE SAKE of confirmation. I don't think your mind sees the difference.

Marina said...

No, it doesn't. Could you explain?

Anna said...

Well you like someone say for their sense of humour or sweetness. If like them then you want them to like you, but if they don't then you still like them for the qualities they possess.

Marina said...

Oh. No, then you get fucking annoyed at them for not appreciating you the same way you appreciate them.

Anna said...

But still like them for the qualities they possess? Continue liking them for a little while, but without encouragement choose to like someone else instead.

Marina said...

Maybe you should be a prophet :P