Conversations triggering thought.

It's interesting when you have heard that something terrible has happened to you and you don't know if it's true or not. You're sort of kind of sorta kinda stuck in limbo and you don't know how to react to said suspected terrible thing. Supposing it didn't fucking happen and you're tearing up your mind for nothing, searching and re-evaluating for nothing? For something that's concocted and fabricated? And if it did happen, what, are you just throwing that away and disregarding it because there's a possibility it didn't occur?

For example. Say somebody got told in their adult years that they were abused as a little child, from a questionable but partially reliable source. What to do? Huh? What to do if you were too young to remember?

Oh well. On to another subject. I am so far away. I wonder what can speed up the process. I keep wondering about my reactions to the different things that have happened to me. How I've changed with all of it. My mother tells me I'm an open book and my friends do sometimes comment.

I want to be read and analysed, you know, in true IB English A1 HL-style. I want to turn into an enormous volume and lie there for you to understand. All of the games people play before they get to know eachother and trust eachother are tiring. I just want to lie there and read, and have other people be engrossed in me, too.

That would be so nice.