Floodgates

A few years of stuffing experiences away into that back corner of your mind without processing them probably has to show in the end.

And then there you sit, you bastard, telling me that that's not the way to do it. That I have to understand things. As in actually take them in, and reason with them, and then put them away for storage. Because that is in fact what you're saying.

Don't I feel enough as it is? Do I need to dig all of that up now, too?

Anyway, I guess I know now why my long-term memory is so bad. I don't process things which I perceive, they just get stashed away immediately. My mind is passive in that sense.

Oooh, but now. Now I can feel those gates back there. Those gates are starting to creak and groan under the force that's behind them. I am terrified.

As if you haven't gotten enough of me to deal with.

1 comment:

amani said...

I wrote something like this a while back as well.

My repressed memories were mostly memories of being beaten by my dad... sucks to have them back.